Nothing I can write can prepare you for being ‘in there’

[Don’t read this at work. This article is intended for 18+ over readers. All videos links are  NSFW. Also, warning: brutal/kinky content in H-games, Western goggles, etc. If you’re not interested in H-games don’t read this at all. Uninstall the Internet and go watch Tom Cruise murder 50 evil foreigners with your family.]

The mother of all VR porn games has landed, and it won’t be sold in America.

I mean, no shit.

Every time Japan releases a kinky video game the Western press has a titty fit, while taking breaks to praise box office numbers for 50 Shades of Abusive Rich Sociopaths. You’ve probably never even heard of Honey Select, or maybe you know and are jaw-dropped that a mainstream gaming site is covering it.

Lucky for you, Papa Niero is self-employed, fearless, knows his audience, and is probably naked as he’s typing this. Let’s go get some page views that I’ll likely take a Google penalty for and have to delete by tomorrow, yay. I mean oh no, that’s really bad, boo. I’m surely doing the site more harm than good by posting this up, but hey, it’s gonna be educational.

Destructoid had an internal meeting on whether or not we should cover this stuff, and I’m going to go out on a limb here. I mean, it’s got boobs so everybody’s going to click it, but we rarely cover H-games on the home page — much less Virtual Reality H-Games. Do let us know how you feel about us putting this up, and I hope I’ve done this title some justice without too much giggling through it. I am going to preach that everybody just leave Japan the hell alone. Let’s have a not-so quiet conversation about VR Hentai as well as take a glimpse of the future of Western adult video games.

Here’s the trailer for Honey Select:

https://youtu.be/63A_dt9jkUE

A little backstory and Western goggle adjustment before we dive into it

I don’t really need to get into the politics of this, but I did want to clue some of you in on why this game will likely never hit the US market. If I ask most Western gamers what they think of Illusion games, I get a deer in headlights. If I say Rapelay they might recall the time when the likes of CNN discovered non-consensual themes in hentai games back in 2010 — exactly one year late to the story. Destructoid covered this controversy extensively around 2009 if you want to dig through our ancient archives.

Is this game more tame than Rapelay? Quite. But there’s still some kinky shit, and by far the most realistic female character model I’ve ever seen in a birthday suit in VR, if we discount the explosive bra action at every gesture. So there’s that.

You really can’t blame Illusion for wanting to avoid another shit-show, but the demand for these games in the West remains insatiable. There’s a whole subreddit and a few large-scale English forums (Hongfire) dedicated to this stuff, which I’m not even going to link to because they haven’t been able to handle the traffic since this game came out.

Just as Keeping Up With The Kardashians is specifically made to distract dangerous reptiles that somebody hated enough to marry, this game isn’t made for Western audiences. There’s a billion-dollar market of products for Japanese guys that like SM (sadomasochism) and some Japanese guys want vocal girls that are also Maguro (literally: a tuna, meaning who just lies there). If I’m honest, these H-games are nothing compared to the traumatizing anime that I can’t unwatch.

Bonus off-topic fish and sexuality fact: Saba is a general term for silver fish, so older guys with silver hair are called Saba, because their shiny heads look like silver fish sushi over rice. I find this quite adorable. 

Also, to avoid a trigger warning to this article, I’d like you to consider reading about “adult games for women by women“, and not joining the clan of sentient jars of mayonnaise that can’t get a date.

Let’s review the morality scoreboard if you’re not keeping track: rape games, rape jokes, rape stuff in America are social suicide, unless the woman feels empowered — but empowered in the Western definition, and definitely not what Japanese might find attractive. Also, spreading the awareness of H-games are front-page stories on CNN because nobody in the West would do or want that here, except that the West is actually developing 20x more games better than the one I’m about to describe, and they’re all hosted on America’s top crowdfunding sites. Praise Sugoi Allah and God Save Japan.

You following me so far, sugar tits?

I’ll come back to that at the end of the article. I hope your feelings are all fucked up and confused, because that’s exactly what I felt when I started going to church. Everyone’s dick is a terrible evil snake, so let’s pray together while we enjoy a curious look on what we cannot have in our nation under God: Japan’s Honey Select.

Do you see how not-shitty that looks? The game runs great at 1080p/60fps. Your computer probably can't run this in VR mode with the shaders on at that rate, though (you'll have to edit an XML file)

Do you see how not-shitty that looks? The game runs great at 1080p/60fps. Your computer probably can’t run this in VR mode with the shaders on at that rate, though (you’ll have to edit an XML file)

Honey Select looks expensive, and it is.

Depending on where you get it and what options you get, it’s easily a $60-$90 to import if you can even find it. Part hentai game and part adult animation studio, it makes the hanky panky stuff you’ve seen in Mass EffectSkyrim and Witcher look like The Sims. This goes way beyond motorboating boobies. I’m not exaggerating when I say a person could easily write a 300+ page instruction manual on how to make use of all of the menus and features in the Studio add-on game companion.

More character customization options than there are procedurally generated planets in the sky

How do you like your tits? You think you know the answer, and then you open up this game and you’ll be surprised how little you know about the vast spectrum of breast anatomy. There are more breast customization options alone than some games have total face, dress, and body customization options. It’s insane.

The art is decidedly anime, though it is possible to import your own textures and try to Westernise the characters (and you’ll be doing it wrong). It does come with a few blondes of all shapes and sizes, though.The amount of stuff that comes default plus the amount of mod-importable character customizations already sets this game apart in its own class. It’s good enough that you can faithfully recreate some video game characters. You can find some around the video sites, like how to make Mei from Overwatch.  (warning: possible malware site, go in armed to the teeth)  Try this link + Mirror.

This photo is super blurry, the game looks way more crisp, via ZOD Game (chinese)

This photo is super blurry, the game looks way more crisp, via ZOD Game (chinese)

Once you pop, you can’t stop. You can spend a full hour creating the exact pair of boobies down to weight, nipple perk, side perk, fluffiness, chest height, implant, and ten other options that will never make you want to touch a real human girl again. If you have a Vive or equivalent touch controllers (this guy Eusth is porting everything to Touch Controllers and LeapMotion on his Github page) you can get your hands around the math. Yes, you can regress to your 13-year old self and hang basketballs on women. However, the male character model has a fixed height, so ridiculous anatomy will result in equally absurd animations.

Speaking of math, if you have a high-end computer this game will make it cringe. My mid-range gaming computer was about to bust a lung trying to run this. I’m not sure what the system requirements are, but like all VR games it requires a beastly rig. You can play this in non-VR mode, of course. One of the videos in this story pushes 60 frames per second at 720, and it’s stunning.

Honey Select

Shocker! You can also customize the hell out of the guys, too

Do you like buff, tall guys with concave chests that are also wide but sort of pointy? Done. There are so many customization windows in this game that you can spend hours tweaking your avatar and still not see all the options or animations. Unlike most H-games, you can’t criticise this game for not going all out to satiate male customization options.

You can watch the male customization in the first video at the top of this story. My screenshot was taken during an unfortunate bloating of his rib cage, so he looks like some of his Western brosephs.

By the way, did you know Japanese people generally don’t eat that much sugar, even for breakfast? A lot of people just eat rice, soup, or nato. I thought Asians were just naturally thin but it turns out that our government has been letting the sugar industry fuck us for 50 years. Stop eating so much sugar or you won’t live to see this stuff as futuristic Altered Reality porn in a dozen years. 

Honey Select

Pardon the blurry screenshots, finding SFW photos of this game is difficult. The actual game is razor crisp.

But what’s the game like?

The game goes right into it: In the opening scene you’re in the lobby of a Japanese brothel, where an overly polite busty woman in a pants suit greets you and promises that you’re about to have a great old time with much variety. The long and the short of it is that Honey Select is vividly about Japanese cartoons fucking, realistically, and in glorious room-scale VR.

In the full game:After the lobby introduction you’ll be taken to a bedroom and sexual scenarios where understanding the woman’s personality — and how to exploit it — will let you gain control of her excitement meters, pushing her to climax and thus level progression. You can’t just bang a bunch of buttons and expect to motor through the game, so it will likely be impossible for English speakers to complete. If you’re feeling up to the challenge there’s a plug-in for Google Translator on mobile phonesthat allows you to translate what’s in front of you in real-time, so that’s one way you can patiently play the game. I was able to complete the demo after spending an hour trying to figure out the insane amount of menu prompts. In the demo you can just sample character customization and have yourself a tuna..

Once the sex (aka “H”) starts, you can move your camera and decide what happens next.  If you have a VR headset you can literally walk around the animatronic puppets as if they were going at it right in your living room. You can watch them go at it as couples or in groups from every angle you can imagine, and your role in this can become the director or zoom into the head of first-person view. It’s Japanese, so there’s a hotkey for everything. Sasuga.

honey select

Why Honey Select is unlike the kitschy Samsung VR type stuff

This isn’t streaming video. This isn’t linear. When you boot this up, you’re in control. You don’t have to wait for the same sex-lusting pizza guy to walk into the weird fish-eye warped room.

Unlike the Naughty America stuff, modern H-games aren’t tied to static video shots that rely on 10-year-old camera technology to “simulate” a VR experience. That Pornhub VR stuff is where you must be perfectly still or people’s heads become humongous or the 180/360 illusion is dispelled. Sure, that has real actors (I’m sure it’s very hard work, no offence to the hard working ladies of the industry), but that technology is so busted compared to what’s driving games like this. They’re just videos.

Once you try this, even if you don’t find it sexy, you’ll probably never want to call that other stuff VR again. Being a peeping tom is one thing, but being fully teleported into a fully explorable cartoony porn set is much closer to the weird synthetic sex future that’s going to wipe out humanity.

That’s another thing that sets Honey Select apart: there’s this bizarre feeling like somebody is present in the room with you in VR. It’s a completely different feeling from streaming video Its hard to describe unless you’ve got a Vive or Oculus, or follow my insane instructions to get this running on your non-exploding mobile phone.

honey select

This is the real deal — at least as far as hentai is concerned.  You can move around the room, control the speed, control the positions, control if the room is dark or light. In that sense, Honey Select is light years ahead of porn being made by human actors. It’s going to take a lot of computing power to animate a full porn star’s body scan, so at least as 2016 is concerned, this is one of the only tickets in town for room scale.

Moving around the game is not intuitive at first, and there’s a lot to manage – including your Y-axis. On my first playthrough I couldn’t figure out how to stop flying through the roof while my dead tuna lay there waiting for me. Don’t expect to go into this with your pants down like you’re rolling into Pornhub. Sometimes it felt like I was learning AutoCAD. The learning curve is a little intense, even when following along with English guides.

You build your girl, you choose a scenario, you talk to some lady in the lobby, and you take it all the way like clowns do. It’s not as extreme as H-games with tentacles and other weird shit, but give the modding community a year and you’ll find it. That said, it’s almost impossible to play this game without printing out a guide and hours of “study”.

Video: Props to Youtuber Roz Stripe for attempting to make sense of the demo and SFW censor a full play-through of the demo. Hit the play below to watch a hot-blooded Westerner build a wifu. Is this awesome? Draw a circle with your sweaty palms here: Y / N

This bears repeating: The game looks good in his video, but it looks 10x times better with depth of field in VR. I think it’s done in Unity 5. Roz jokingly suggests it was done in Cry Engine. There’s nothing we can say to prepare you for “going in” and being there.

honey select

Does this game have material that will offend me?

Well yeah, absolutely. No question about it.

If you’re looking for a reason to be offended by this game it’s going to deliver like Octomom. That said, guys aren’t the only pervs and kinks in this game. The inverse is true in this game: some women have sadist and masochistic personality traits “positive gains”, so beating your ass becomes the objective if that gets you off, but that’s just the tip.

Other sadomasochistic options include “mind-breaking” and “destroying” where the will to choose is forfeited.  There’s a “hate” modifier where the animations turn into some kind of revenge sex fantasy. There’s sweating pills, sleeping pills, and pissing pills. There’s also some golden shower stuff where, at least according to a fan wiki, you can “force a girl to hold her pee during the toilet scene”. The wiki also references “hateful handjob”, which is now contender for the best Xbox Live screen name ever, and stuff like “bad kisser” which, at least according to the translation I’m working with, indicates that the girl will show “signs of struggle” while making out. Let’s just move along with the facts here… wow.

In before I have the weirdest boner / how do I fap to this?

I can’t dignify a valid review for this game as non-Japanese speaker, I have bad news if I’ve led you into thinking you have any hope to jerk off to this: There are a billion buttons everywhere and the motion controls to navigate around the room are slow and cumbersome. I didn’t find it particularly sexy as much as I found it an impressive achievement in what is possible when modern video games cross the pornography line.

If you’re into SM, not an evangelical preacher, or just curious/brave enough to try this, there’s an English-language wiki explains the madness, as well as a dozen people trying to figure out how the hell to play this game in a 64-page thread. PlayClub was eventually almost fully translated into English by Western fans, so you’re probably better off waiting for mods.

honey select

How to download it

There’s a free trial on the official site, but you’ll have to use a Japanese proxy to download it.  The full version is up on Amazon Japan for about $90 US. It has 4/5 stars and 24 positive reviews at the time of this writing. Google’s translation of what’s going on in this game from the Amazon product page deserves to be read (sic “Engrish” intentional:)

  • This work will enjoy a thick H communication sweet of a girl that was created by the ultimate character makeup. By overlaying the H content and events, girls sentiment changes. Changes also reaction to the player to match it, also occurs various events. Spend time with favorite girls, please enjoy the sweet and H-moments!
  • Purupuru and swaying breasts and buttocks of softness. Fine skin texture of Me can be glossy. Its body temperature and is also likely to have drifted to the smell overwhelming presence. In addition, the implementation also representation of the liquid with an increased texture! Liquid drip To creamy, further doubling the force of the woman’s body. The H scene of overwhelming visual breathtaking enjoy.
  • Change her our feelings by superimposing the girl and H and events. And for the players, angry or, change the lot of reaction or attracted the favor, or come up to the room, a variety of events, such as it would back angry occurs. H well, communication has also become one of the fun through the H!
  • The data conversion function, character data that has been custom in the Sexy Beach Premium Resort is also available to read. For those who play to create a favorite character in the Sexy Beach Premium Resort is also, it has become a made to enjoy with the new character makeup!

Apparently you can import character data from an older Illusion game that resembles Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball, which is the tits if you also own that.

How to get it working with Steam VR / Open VR

There’s a Reddit thread about everything, and this is no exception. You need the unfinished Eusth plugin and probably some UI translation mods.

The game does come with native VR support, but some readers in the thread prefer the ported VR support for Vive made by the Github modder mentioned above. This stuff is not easy to set up and get working. If this drive you nuts you do have a few simpler, lower cost options to try an H-Game in VR. In fact, I can’t recommend this game to anyone that doesn’t have a degree in Rocket Science and Sociology. This game is a handful to first setup and then process.

I’ve reached the holy grail of games journalism where I actually have adult press accounts to some stuff and have experienced – for science – simpler H-games like BeachHouSexwhich feature a few limited professionally designed characters and limited animations, well into the uncanny valley but way better looking with depth-capable VR goggles. That game stuff goes for $15 and will freak out your unsuspecting friends, but it’s over very quickly. If you’ve never played a VR adult game that one is actually localized in English and easy to install. Get it here. If you don’t have any patience for this nonsense you’re probably better off with the softer stuff on the consoles and your vivid imagination. Check our analysis on VR Porn and the PS4.

If you think you knew about porn and VR because you’ve sampled some slutty video on a mobile phone, you have no idea what’s coming.  

Honey Select won’t be the first VR adult game to break through, and if it does it will be for the wrong reasons. It’s too complicated.  But that breakthrough game is coming.

I feel sympathy for Illusion because they’re alone, at least for now.  Until then, Honey Select is the gold standard; the most polished VR room-scale sex simulator on the market, bar none — and that’s just as culturally important for journalists to consider beyond “omg it’s a little like rapelay in VR”. It’s not even a fair comparison, but it’s cannon.

Look, if you must import this, don’t take a big cowboy shit on it. It’s Japanese. There are adults that live over there, and there’s already enough cowboys telling them how to make videogames – stop. It’s bad enough that we’re making the Japanese self-aware of their awesome dick festivals and over here microchip makers are funding whatever this is. All of Japan’s Twitter is not up in arms about Honey Boo Boo influencing their families to eat sticks of butter. Japanese people respect our desire to destroy our families in our own special way. Let’s reciprocate and leave them the fuck alone, ne?

honey select

Closing thoughts, and Patreon’s unexpected role in the VR adult industry 

Is this a glimpse of the VR porn that is coming to the West? Oh, we’re going to hell for sure. Head’s up parents, I just did you a solid. You sure you want that Amazon Vive?

What’s coming is even crazier and far more realistic, and it’s found an unexpected place: the crowdfunding site Patreon. Go throw your Patreon money at this guy so he can afford to buy a Vive and finish his game. In fact, there’s some 20 other Western-developed games just like this one, most on Patreon being crowdfunded under the radar, and now you know where to look. There’s even one being made in Unreal Engine, and the most notorious gaming porn animator on Patreon, Studio FOW, is now collecting $15,000 a month to next-level this stuff. The West is just figuring this out and just catching up.

Maybe after this Christmas, but no later than 2018, you’re going to see this everywhere.

It’s a brave new world.

honey select

Pictured above: An unnamed Western VR porn game by Meakrob47 

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